guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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