people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
