she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
