my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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