Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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