i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
