I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
