When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want her autograph on my taint
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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