he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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