you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
