No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
