we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
