OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
