he wants to bone in the snuggie
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
