We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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