none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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