Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
