...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
nutella sex= disaster
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
