Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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