no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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