Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize