You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
