office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize