I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
