went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
