we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
