dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
