You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
