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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm in your bed right now

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Okay meet you there give me 10

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Don't think you can make me leave either

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i cant lie to you.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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• (713): View more from Texas

  On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.

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• (516): View more from New York

  We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!

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