I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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