I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
