What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
