youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
