a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You made out with two different species that night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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