google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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