Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
they're like a gay fantastic four
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
