I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
