i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
