tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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