At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize