just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
