I think my vagina is haunted
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
did you just send me my own nude
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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