I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
