Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
