..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
