She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
