Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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