She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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