She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
