moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
