I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
