So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Terrible idea I love it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
