maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
