At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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