his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
