Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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