Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
