One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
