i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
